WEEK SEVEN NFL DRUNKPIX
It seems I've made another error. Last week, upon a reader's feedback, I noted that I had been mistakenly thinking that the ESPN analyst making picks was Marcus Allen when it was actually ex-Redskin Eric Allen. Turns out, I fucked up again! Eric Allen never played for the Redskins, I was confusing him with ex-Washington runningback Terry Allen.
So what does all this mean? Last week, I tried to say that I'd made the mistake on purpose because I'm incredibly racist. That wasn't true. The real reason, when it comes down to it, is that I just can't stand people with the last name Allen. I'm tired of all these Allens coming into our country, taking jobs having to do with being named Allen, messing up class rosters by being all early in the alphabet, bein' all rhymin' with the name "Fallon," and confusing people trying to write blog entries about their Allen-ness. It's high time they left us alone and went back where they came from - the wombs of women with the last name Allen.
Nice week for us on the picks. We both went 9-5, no thanks to Eli Manning's sudden goodness, Steve McNair's billionth injury (sprained left pussy, maybe?), and Minnesota's comeback in the battle of two coaches who are so fired, they left the field looking like 40s Dresden. I think we're all done picking San Francisco and Houston for the next couple years, not that we were before this week, but Washington , Oakland, and Detroit might make for some sticky picking in the coming weeks and not just because they're pouring molasses on our picks. Also, since when was Seattle allowed to actually do shit? They better start being less consequential quick or I'm writing an angry letter. I figure, a letter could still probably beat them head-to-head, even though the Rams clearly can't.
WEEK SEVEN RESULTS
Mike Golic: 11-3 (also the ratio of daily meals Golic eats vs the national average)
Sean Salisbury: 10-4
Chris Mortensen: 9-5
Ron Jaworski: 9-5
Merrill Hoge: 7-7
Eric Allen: 7-7
AFTER SEVEN WEEKS:
Still plenty of season to play, and I gots an appetite for some Salisbury steak! I am going to eat Sean Salisbury, in the form of picks!