MLS PLAYOFFS SEMIFINAL MATCH - FINAL SCORE: DC UNITED 0, CHICAGO FIRE 0

It's headlines like this one that continue to pistol-whip that dead horse about why soccer will never be as popular in the US as the rest of the world. How in the hell can a playoff game end in a tie?

Zero-zero ties (or nil-nil, as people who pretend to be sophisticated enough to enjoy soccer call them) are boring enough and already deservedly draw the ire (or the not-giving-a-shit) of Americans. But a playoff game ending in a tie? Come on, MLS! Does that stand for "Majorly Lame Sport?" I know it doesn't, but I'm just saying other words that fit the abbreviation that more humorously describe it!

A 0-0 playoff game, though, even soccer should know better. At least have the game go into pentalty kicks and have nine people score with unexciting ease then have one dude hit the crossbar and go back to his home country and get murdered. Players being murdered and riots causing hundreds of trample deaths are the few things soccer has that US Sports don't, and until the sport learns how to market itself properly, it's never going to grab our country's attention. A good first step would be having playoff games not end in ties.

A good second step would be playing football.