WEEK EIGHT NFL DRUNKPIX

Kevin broke the bank (literally, somehow) with his picks this week, posting a Muhammad-Ali-esque 11-3 mark, despite making the picks at 5 am Saturday night and falling asleep halfway through while still fully clothed and sober. Dan was two behind with an Ali-with-Parkinson’s-esque 9-5 because of the losses by Kansas City and Detroit, overlooking those two iron rules of gambling: 1) KC off a win, San Diego off a loss, so there was a bounceback factor for the Chargers, and 2) Jeff Garcia is absolutely and unquestionably a homosexual. We don’t mean that as a term of derogatory ignorance, just that it’s very clear that he is actually gay. How that got to be an iron rule of betting, we’ll have to look up, but gamblers have been aware of it since the time of Seabiscuit. The horse, not the movie. And not the food either, which came out just weeks after the horse.

WEEK EIGHT RESULTS:
KEVIN: 11-3
Mike Golic: 11-3 [also the height Golic would have to be for his weight to be normal]
Merrill Hoge: 10-4
Chris Mortensen: 10-4
DAN: 9-5
Sean Salisbury: 9-5
Eric Allen: 9-5
Ron Jaworski: 8-6 [even Jaws didn’t take the Eagles, Kev & Dan both did :-( ]

AFTER EIGHT WEEKS:
Salisbury: 78-38
Hoge: 72-44
Mortensen: 72-44
Golic: 72-44
DAN: 70-46
KEVIN: 68-48
Jaworski: 67-49
Allen: 62-54

This race is as tight as the NFC North! And one and a half times as exciting!